More often than I like to I see couples who seem to fall for the idea that marriage is one long beautiful fairy tale. When they envision being married they seem to think of a perfect house with a perfect spouse and making perfect dinners that you can enjoy while having the most pleasant of conversations followed by dancing by the fireplace. Now don’t get me wrong marriage does have those moments. If you choose the right person and your willing to make the sacrifices that is takes marriage can be the best decision you have ever made, but it isn’t nor will it ever be that perfect picture that many people paint it to be. If you let the idea of a perfect fun marriage get in your head your marriage won’t last. I’ve seen so many times when being married isn’t fun anymore they quit on it.
Marriage is not about a long romantic ride into the sunset. Yes romance can be amazing and I do believe that putting in the effort to be romantic with each other in marriage is very important but that’s not what marriage is about. Marriage is about the hardships! It’s not as much about having someone there for the good times as much as it is having someone there with you to weather the bad. Believe it or not life is hard, and the majority of life is going to be stressful and difficult. There are bills to pay and work to do. There is sickness and there is death. This is what we call life and for the majority of it, you will have something that you’ll be struggling with. If you chose to get married with only the good times in mind, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. You can’t go into marriage with the idea that just because you got married all that bad stuff will just disappear. The hard times will be there and that’s what marriage is about. Marriage is about going through hard times but instead of facing them alone you can face them together! That is the true romance in marriage!
The true romance in marriage.
It’s the times when the world is crashing down on you and you have nothing left to give, your husband wraps his arms around you and just holds you while you cry.
It’s that time when you have no money left, so you spend the night watching a movie together instead of going out.
It’s the time when your baby is in the NICU and your other child is home and your spouse goes home to take care of her while you stay with your newborn.
It’s sitting up at night wondering how your going to make ends meet, bouncing off ideas on how to make a little extra money and making each other feel like it’s going to be okay.
It’s that moment after a big fight when you decide that your love is more important than your anger.
It’s a humbling moment when you see your spouse tattered from a day of working to help make money for your family.
It’s being able to forgive them after they make a mistake.
It’s holding hands in the car because of one of you is having anxiety.
It’s helping each other up again to face another day!
The romance in marriage is not having a perfect life with flowers, chocolate and candles lighting a path. The romance in marriage is walking in the dark holding each others hand, and guiding each other through this maze called life. There will be times of beautiful sunlight where we might stop to have a picnic, but the majority will be you and him together through the storms. Soak in the good time, enjoy them. Go ahead and be romantic with your partner, have fun! Just don’t let yourself think that it has to be easy and fun all the time. Bad times will come and if you prepare for it and know its normal you and your husband will be able to get through them and come out even stronger!