To the husband who’s wife doesn’t feel beautiful.

To the husband whose wife doesn’t feel beautiful,

It isn’t like it was when you first met. She was so confident. Her smile made you stop in your tracks every time. She would glow when you called her beautiful. She was young with the perfect body, the perfect hair, always wearing something amazing.

Now years later she stands in front of you with a baby in her arms and a child tugging at her sleeve. Her hair up in the same messy bun style that she’s worn for weeks, wearing the same worn-out t-shirt from yesterday. Yes she doesn’t look as put together as she did when you were dating but to you she looks just as beautiful as she did when you first laid eyes on her. She doesn’t know that though. In her eyes she’s a ragged mess. She feels ashamed that she can’t look better for you.

She wants to feel beautiful and sexy. She wants to feel like you think she’s as beautiful as she once was. She wants that confident glow again, but how can she feel beautiful when she has macaroni and her hair and spit up on her shirt?

Let her know how much you still love her. Show her affection. She wants to feel like she’s your world. Brush the hair out of her face, look into her eyes, and tell her how beautiful and how meaningful she is to you. Come up behind her and put your arms around her and give her a kiss on the cheek. She longs to feel like she did when it was just you and her. Spend one on one time with her, plan a romantic outing. Effort goes a long way in showing her you care! Watch the kids so she can get dressed up. Hold her hand. She needs you to verify that she’s still the girl of your dreams. She needs you to understand that it’s normal to feel this way. And sometimes she needs you to remind her that it is.

Remind her that she’s the mother of your children and that in and of itself is beautiful. All she really needs to hear is your loving voice reminding her of her worth. All she really needs to see is your affection and effort in her. You mean the world to her, which means your opinions mean the world to her. Don’t let life get you so busy that you forget to love her. In a world of dirty diapers and messy hands, your the rock that she clings to. Love her, let her know her worth, let her know the beauty you see in her.

Signed,

a wife who’s been there.

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